Maybe you've heard the proverb, "The boy is the father of the man". The choices a boy makes will determine the man he becomes. (The same is, of course, true for women.) His devotion to his studies, the friends he surrounds himself with, his habits and work ethic, and the woman he builds a family with will have a huge impact on the course of his life.
So will the character he builds. I've advised young men to think about the men in their lives and then decide how they want people to describe them when they are 50. Not many really want to be described as a hard-drinking man-child with cool toys. Being seen as honest, dependable, and kind is much more attractive. But that doesn't happen overnight or automatically. It's a choice the youngster has to start making early. Day-by-day, choice-by-choice we become the man or woman we will grow into.
The same holds true about the character you want to have when you're 70.
Sometimes we need to restart our path. Many athletic teens became lazy and pudgy adults. Many hopeful and enthusiastic kids became bitter and distrustful. Life is good at that. As we get to middle age, it's time to decide if we want to end that way. And we again have the advantage of examining the older people in our lives.
How many grumpy old men do you know? How many who retired then sat down and got old almost overnight? Do you have any older people in your life who became fearful and distrustful of everyone?
I have met plenty of older people I don't want to turn into. So I've been giving some thought to how to avoid those fates; I've also asked older and wiser guides.
I definitely don't want to be one of those old men who can't walk to the mailbox without becoming winded. I want to be mobile in my golden years. Here's the kicker: I'm pretty sedentary. I have a desk job and very indoorsy hobbies. I make it to the gym a few times a week, but that's not good enough. I'm going to have to make a lifestyle change to move more.
Far more important than that, though, I don't want to be the old man no one wants to be around. I've had several older relatives who were simply unpleasant. So we avoided them.
I have it on good authority that as people age, they become more of who they are. Those who are grumpy when they're young will be grumpy when they're old. Those upbeat before they get old will remain that way. The problem is, I'm not really either of those extremes. I have both in me, so I have the potential to tend more toward one side or the other.
I don't want to be a grumpy old man, so I have to break the habit of complaining about things I don't like. I need to learn to laugh at myself and accept my aches and pains and the fact that the world will sometimes change in ways I don't like. God is in control; I have to trust him and accept what he's chosen to permit.
I don't want to be the guy who corners young people to share his opinion about everything in their lives. I've got that impulse. I've got to get in the habit of offering my opinion only when asked.
That's who I don't want to emulate. Then there are those few beautiful older folks whose visits make you feel like you've been to church in the best ways. I want to cultivate the kind of life that makes people who spend time with me want to know Jesus more.
What about you? Should the Lord tarry, our only options are to get old or die young. Who do you want to become? Join me in planning ahead.
Part of this is selfish. I don't want to be remembered as the kind of person I didn't like being around. Part of it is a desire to be a blessing. I want to help people be their best, to encourage them, to be a breath of fresh air. As we get older, there will be more and more things we cannot do. But we can always display God's grace.
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