1. Be a host.
When it's your party, you need to make sure everyone who wants to sit has a place. You make sure everyone finds something to eat. Do they need a fork? Is there enough ice? You eat last because you want to make sure you don't run out of food. Sit and eat? You're probably orbiting the room, making sure everyone's doing OK.
You can do that at church, too. Most of the people who are coming to your church are expecting to be taken care of. So be the host. Especially to new faces. Welcome them. Make sure they find a good place to sit. Make sure someone talks to them. Don't insist on your favorite parking place or seat; you give those to your guests. Did anyone explain how childcare works to them? Are there any moments in the service they might be surprised by? Tip them off and explain why you do things that way.
None of this is the pastor's job; he's busy enough on Sunday morning. Do your best to make everyone around you comfortable, and encourage other members to do the same. Your church will be healthier and more welcoming because of it.
2. Keep it to yourself.
There are several things I don't like about my church. I'm not going to tell you what they are. I'm not going to tell anyone what they are. I don't want people to think ill of my church. If they never noticed something before, the certainly would after I mentioned it. They could have been perfectly happy about everything at the church before I told them those things.
Even when it's something everyone knows about, we don't need to talk about it. Negativity feeds on negativity. When someone brings up something they're unhappy about at, say, our small group, I try to divert the conversation. Going down that path will only make everyone dwell on the things they don't like about the church. It edifies no one.
If there's something that you think really, really needs to be fixed, take it up with your pastor. Otherwise, keep it under your hat.
3. Tell everyone.
Brag about your church. If there's anything they do or have done especially well, talk about it. We have, sadly, had a couple of serious issues with staff members, including inappropriate conduct by a youth minister. And our pastor handled it absolutely perfectly. An idea was floated that was quite controversial, and it was put to a vote. Baptist churches have split over much less than this. And our church handled it with grace and maturity. Some younger staff members commented that they didn't know people could disagree so amicably. I could go on. I tend to describe my church as "ridiculously healthy." And it's largely our pastor's fault.
No church is perfect, but whatever they do well, praise it in your community. Are they warm and welcoming? Are they especially giving? Is the teaching top notch? Tell somebody. And be sure to tell your pastor, too. He could use the encouragement.
4. Do something no one wants to do.
Lots of people want to teach, probably more than should be teaching, and in a lot of churches, more than they have room for. No one wants to clean the bathrooms. Lots of men want to be a deacon. Who picks up trash in the parking lot?
However big or small your church is, there's something that needs to be done that no one wants to do. Ask your pastor, if you don't have any ideas. Then own that job. If it's something that no one will ever know about, be sure that "your Father, who sees what is done in secret," (Matt 6:4) knows. And you will be making your church a better place.
5. Pray for your pastor.
Does that seem trite? In the last survey on the topic, 42 percent of pastors had considered quitting full-time ministry within the last year. Over one-third did. And that's not counting those who ... ah, "disqualified themselves" from ministry. It's a hard, stressful job that can take a toll on the pastor's family, faith, and mental health. Even if your pastor is the happiest pastor in the world, his spiritual life will directly affect your church. Pray for his devotional life. Pray for his marriage. Pray for his moral constancy.
I also encourage you to thank your pastor, to support him financially, to encourage him, and to defend him against those who would tear him down. But we cannot protect him against the spiritual attacks the enemy brings, so lift him up to the One who can.
There are a lot of things about a church that depend on the pastor. But there is much that depends on the members, and we can all make our churches a healthier, happy family if we're willing to do the work. And when churches are healthier, people in the community will eventually notice, and that will add credibility to the gospel. Could lost people really come to Jesus because you picked up trash and prayed for your pastor? Yes. So do what you can do. For the Kingdom.
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