This is sort of going to be a book review, but I want to focus on one glaring, and unfortunately common, problem in a book that is otherwise ... unimpressive but fine.
The error that is so easy to make it to see something in scripture and say, "He did that, it worked out fine for him, so I should do that" without taking a closer look at whether this was a special situation — or was even what you think it is.
The first example that springs to mind is the "Daniel diet". "Daniel ate like this and got really healthy, so I should eat like this." The text is clear that this was a surprise because Daniel was not eating the way he needed to for the intended result (which, historically, was probably to get kind of chubby). Divine intervention was involved in this case and is not promised for anyone else.
So let's talk about the book. Growing Up: How to Be a Disciple Who Makes Disciples by Robby Gallaty is basically a manual for what he calls "discipleship groups" or "D-Groups". It's not a new book; it was originally published in 2013 and was updated in 2022, but people are still reading and recommending it, and the supplementary materials are still being produced.
On the first page of the introduction, Gallaty says, "This book is built on solid biblical principles." But is it? My contention is that it is not, at least in one key aspect, the D-Groups, and in important way — he insists this is the only way discipleship can be done:
If you are serious about being a disciple of Jesus Christ—really, truly serious—you will become a part of a D-Group. Again, Jesus Himself established this model for us. He formed and personally led the first D-Group—and it worked. The men who emerged from that group took the gospel to the world, and ultimately, they laid down their lives for Christ. (p243)
D-Groups are the model Jesus established for us? How's that?
This is the key claim of the book: Jesus took three apostles aside for special training, so that's how discipleship should be done (page 46). D-groups will be 3-5 people, including the more mature person who is doing the discipling.
The problem? Jesus didn't have just 3 disciples. Yes, he pulled Peter, James, and John aside a few times. The author lists five occasions when Jesus pulled those three aside. On two of those occasions there were actually 4, and on one of those, the 4 came to him, he didn't pull them aside. At the raising of Jairus' daughter, one could argue that bringing 12 men into the house would be rude if not difficult. So really, all we have as clear signs that Jesus had a special relationship with those three are the Transfiguration and his taking them aside at Gethsemane. In three years of ministry, we have at most 3 accounts of his taking Peter, James, and John aside for what we might call a private experience.
And the scriptures never say Jesus had 3 disciples. He had 12. And also 72 (Luke 10:1). And also hundreds, up to 500 at least (1Cor 15:6). The command to make disciples was not just given to the inner 3 (Matt 28:17-20) but to all those disciples who were present. Paul possibly discipled Timothy just the two of them; the book acknowledges this and tells you why it doesn't work well. Really.
The author has taken something he saw in scripture (Jesus occasionally pulling those 3 aside) and made it prescriptive, pushing it far beyond what the scriptures actually tell us.
Gallaty says, "The driving purpose of this book is to help you become a disciple who makes disciples. In my experience—both in my personal, spiritual growth and in my ministry—the D-Group is the most effective vehicle for getting you to this destination" (p34). That's great. "We did this, and it really works well" is completely valid. If he stopped there, I would have no problem with it at all.
Unfortunately, he didn't stop there: "I am convinced that those who are serious about discipleship will be a part of a D-Group, and that churches that are serious about making disciples will both provide and promote D-Groups in the assembly" (p34, emphasis added). In several places in the book, he basically says D-Groups are discipleship and discipleship is D-Groups, and if you're not doing D-Groups, you're not doing discipleship.
His prescription for how D-Groups should work is a further problem. This must be an intense 12-18 month process where the group meets at least once a week to pray, recite memorized scripture, and discuss your week's Bible reading. If your life doesn't permit that kind of commitment, you're not ready for discipleship (p154). Changing the pace isn't an option. Just wait to be a disciple until you're life is ready.
Huh? First, I wasn't aware discipleship was optional. Second, he doesn't even claim his program is scripturally based. At this point, this is literally just what he does. But if you're not ready for his program, you're not going to be a disciple. That's not in the Bible. What is in the Bible is older men teaching younger men, older women teaching younger women, and teachers teaching the church to follow Jesus where they are in life right now. We can't tell them what their life has to look like in order for that to happen; we need to disciple them where they are.
Outside of his mistake of seeing a prescription where there is only description and then attaching everything in his model to that prescription, the rest of the book is ... adequate. He talks about prayer, obedience, evangelism, and Bible reading, study, memorization, and meditation. His treatment is brief but serviceable except for Bible study which is far too brief. In fact his HEAR journal strikes me as a prescription for eisegesis.
If the author would tone down his claims about this being THE way to do discipleship, it would be a so-so book on spiritual disciplines and a good book about A way to do a discipleship group.
I'd give this book 3 out of 5 stars as a book on spiritual disciplines, but then I'd have to take off 1 star for the author's misleading argument for his d-groups. I wish every church were as passionate as this author's about discipleship, but this book is not a guide I'd recommend.
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