Who Will Rescue Me?

I'm getting rather tired of me. I grow weary of the same temptations, the same struggles, the same excuses. I ask the man in the mirror, "Is this really the best you can do?" I'm not convinced by his answers.

I hate the pain and suffering in this world. I hate the evil that men do. But I'm most tempted to despair over the evil that I do.

I resonate with the old song by Caedmon's Call:

You say you want a living sacrifice
Well I am a burnt offering
Crawling off the altar
And back into the fire
And with my smoke-filled lungs
I cry out for freedom
While locking and chaining myself
To my rotting desires
And I hate the stench
But I swallow the key
And with it stuck in my throat
Can you hear me?¹

How about you? Do you feel like that some days?

To me one of the most advent-y verses in the Bible comes well after the birth of Christ:
"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" (Rom 7:24)

As Israel waited for the Messiah to come, there were plenty of people who had come to the conclusion that God didn't care about their hearts (Mal 3:14-15). There were some who thought, like Paul, that their "righteousness based on the law" was "faultless" (Phil 3:6). But surely there were many who looked at the Lord of glory and said with Isaiah, "Woe is me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips" (Isaiah 6:5).

Isaiah knew himself, knew what he was both capable of and prone to. So do I. So do you. I bemoan the plight of the poor and the afflicted while sitting in my own comfort. I rant about people who claim to be Christians bringing the gospel into disrepute, convincing the lost they don't need Jesus, while knowing full well the times I have not represented Jesus well, having to wonder if anyone else was able to come along and make up for the harm I did. I see the same pride and dishonesty and greed in me I dislike in other people. "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things" (Rom 2:1).

It's said that the more you know God the more you see your sin, that all of the old saints were very aware of their own sins. But if I take too much comfort in that, I fear I'm just letting myself off the hook for my own wickedness. The whole thing is just so discouraging and exhausting.

God is aware. He knows what we are. He also knows what we will be. "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified" (Rom 8:29-30).

"Glorified". Past tense. Scripture also says God has "seated us with him in the heavenly realms" (Eph 2:6). Past tense. It hasn't happened yet, but it's already done, a fait accompli. Our sin nature will be destroyed. We only have to wait.

And wait. "Who will rescue me from this body of death?" Our Lord Jesus has and will rescue me from this body of death. The struggle is long and hard (though not nearly as hard as it would be if I were better at it), but it will end in victory.

Until then, we can cry out to God, using a line borrowed from the psalmists and the prophets:
How long, O Lord? How long until you free us from this body of sin and death? How long until we are finally conformed to the image of Christ?

Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.²

Music for reflection:
What If I Stumble?
Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus

1 "Coming Home", written by Aaron Tate
2 "It is Well with My Soul", written by Horatio Spafford

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